As Iron Sharpens Iron… part two!

(You can read part one here.)

A few months have passed since that fateful morning at Tim Hortons and I’ve been encouraged to write an update on the subject. Okay – I’ll admit it – my fears have been proven wrong on this one and my hopes have been realised! 🙂 The group that met that day in June has continued to meet and share and grow into something completely different than I have ever experienced before. This small group is actually working!  And working well, I might add.

It started with one person creating a private Facebook group (with a top secret name! shhh!) for us all to share thoughts, ideas, prayers – you name it.  And it clicked – we connected! We’ve had a few BBQ’s together, met up for more coffee, movies, and we even did a weekend camping trip last month. This is nothing like what I remember small groups to be. This is different. We’re kind of making it up as we go, I guess you could say, but what we’re doing is working!  We’re becoming part of one another’s lives and learning to love and care for one another. It’s genuine! And I love that.

We haven’t taken the traditional model and followed it at all – we’re not doing a Bible Study with a regular schedule of meetings – although we have nothing against that and maybe one day it might become part of it. I really don’t know. So far we’re just working on getting to know one another and experiencing one another through friendship and it’s been FUN! Who ever said you had to have a Bible study to be considered a small group anyway? Haha! And why just study it, when you can live it out, in true community?

There have been a couple of times where I had to stretch out of my comfort zone a little and at first I felt myself wanting to retreat, but I didn’t and I’m glad I didn’t. I’m taking baby steps and putting myself out there more and more. (Not an easy thing for an introvert to do.) I also find that I’m feeling very protective of this group. Part of me would really just like to keep it a secret and not let the world know how great it is. What if others want to join? What if I’m not comfortable with that? I like it the way it is now, how would others change the dynamics? It’s only been three and a half months and I know these are totally selfish thoughts, but these are genuine fears that I have, that I know I’ll have to deal with one day. I guess it’s all a part of growing, maturing and loving one another – and becoming more like Christ.

John 13:34-35 “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

No Scrubbing Required

I wouldn’t say I keep the cleanest house, but I try to do my best with what I have… most of the time. 🙂  The bathroom is the one room that I really don’t like to clean and with 4 guys in the house it’s tough to keep up with it.  Over the past few months something interesting happened though.  Our bathroom, being in the middle of the house, is surrounded by 4 solid walls and no windows. Without a light on, it’s dark in there and the one that we had was slowly dying. I don’t know much about lights or electricity but I heard my husband say the ballast was going on it.  In any case, the light was gradually growing dimmer and dimmer over the course of about two months. What I didn’t realise at the time, was that the dirt and grime was building up too.  I guess I thought I was cleaning the bathroom well enough, but it wasn’t until we purchased a new light fixture and loaded it up with (what seemed like) 3 spot lights that I really noticed how bad things had become.  It was terrible! The moment I saw the state my bathroom was truly in, I felt disgusted and ashamed.

I set to work right away and as I was cleaning and scrubbing an interesting thought came to mind.  It’s funny how when our lives, spiritually speaking, are in the dark we don’t notice the dirt and grime that hides in the corners… or even in plain sight sometimes. We just go about living life like we always have, not aware that anything is wrong.  But when the light of God’s love begins to shine, we start to notice the dirt.  Certain things that never used to bother us all of a sudden make us feel uncomfortable.  Sometimes reading the Bible can make us feel ashamed when we’re confronted with the sin in our lives.  God’s light has a way of doing that.  It highlights all the things that are wrong with us and I can see how that makes many people want to run away from him.  What they don’t realise though, is that he’s not out to punish them… he loves them dearly and wants to help them get clean.

Sometimes we’re just like little babies – we don’t want to have our spaghetti faces wiped off or warm poopy bums cleaned with a cold cloth.  No! We’re happy living in our little mess, until it starts to stink – and then we try to blame God for the crap in our lives, when all along it was us!  We didn’t want his help or his guidance; we didn’t take heed to his Word and apply his wisdom to our situation, so we have no one to blame but ourselves, really.  God doesn’t want us to suffer – not at all – but he does allow the consequences of sin (our sin and the sin of others, unfortunately) to play out in our lives.

1 John 1:5-10 speaks of God’s light and the opposing darkness of sin.  Did you know that we can actually deceive ourselves by claiming that there’s no sin in our lives.  Quite literally, if we ignore it or deny it, we just don’t see it as sin.  But let’s face it – we all have dirt – every last one of us!  No one is perfect and we all need the light of God’s love to shine on us and help us see where we need to clean up.  He wants our lives to be fulfilling – joyful, healthy and prosperous – but if we deceive ourselves by not truly admitting that there’s sin hiding there, then the light won’t shine on that area and it won’t get clean.  If we’re not clean, things start to stink. The wonderful thing with God is that we only have to confess it to be cleaned.  Verse 9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  Did you catch that?  Not only does he clean us – he purifies us!  Just admit it to him and it’s done. Jesus already paid the price.  No scrubbing required!

Why sing?

For two years, I was the worship director of a church in Calgary and during that time I don’t ever remember being asked this question, “Why do we sing in church?”  My initial gut reaction was, “Well… it’s just what we’ve always done!” Which is basically a non-answer; not good enough!  The question actually caught me off guard and I’ll admit that I had to do a little research to come up with an answer.  I love it when people challenge me with questions like this.  It sparks something in me and makes me want to dig deeper to find an answer.  Well, I’ve done my digging and here are my thoughts…

We sing because God sings. We’re created in God’s image and the Bible tells us that not only did God create music and singing, but God himself sings. There are over 500 references to songs or singing in the Bible.  One of my favourites is Zephaniah 3:17 which speaks of God delighting in us and rejoicing over us with singing.  Throughout history, there is record of people, of all cultures and all walks of life, singing.  We didn’t create it, He did and it’s part of our very nature!

One of my favourite narrative scenes is a chapter in The Magician’s Nephew, by C.S. Lewis where Aslan sings a new world into being.  I have no idea if that’s how God created our world, but the idea of it is lovely and I believe that the image Lewis paints, wonderfully reflects the nature of God.  Music and song are his heart and soul.

But still… this doesn’t answer the question of why we sing in church.  Why does it need to be a part of our Sunday services?

Singing together brings unity.  When a group of people gather together in one place, with one focus, and sing the same song, there is a unity among those people like no other; a joining of heart, soul and spirit.  I’m not just talking about church here.  Have you ever been to a concert where the entire crowd started singing along?  Voices joined and hearts connected. It’s hard to explain, but if you’ve experienced it, you know what I mean.  When we sing together in church, we raise one voice, one heart, one spirit, towards God and the Bible tells us that where there is unity in His name, God commands a blessing – Psalm 133.

Singing makes it stick.  How many songs do you know by heart?  Do you catch yourself singing along with the radio without even thinking about it?  How many books or sermons have you memorized lately?  Not too many, huh?  Music provides us with this uncanny ability to memorize words that otherwise don’t stick.  All of the songs we sing in church have a Biblical base – sometimes they’re direct quotes from the Bible, other times they convey a promise of God, or maybe they’re simply songs of thanksgiving and praise.  I find it fascinating how often I’ll return home on a Sunday, after church, and the whole family will be humming or singing a song that we sang together that morning.  There have been times that a particular song has stuck with me all week and it’s encouraged or comforted me at just the right moment.  I may have forgotten exactly what the pastor preached about, but quite often the songs will still be there.  Romans 12:2 tells us that we need to be transformed by the renewing our mind.  Listening to music and singing are great ways to get God’s Word, and His promises, into our minds and hearts.

I also had to ask myself – Why do I sing in church?  Of course, the above mentioned reasons are well and good, but when it comes down to it, is that really why I sing?

Singing is the heart overflowing.  I sing because I love God. I sing because I’m thankful for every little thing he’s ever done for me and sometimes words just aren’t enough.  I find music and song to be more energizing and more powerful than mere words; they add another layer of depth, they bring about emotion.  Reading the words won’t necessarily move us, but add the element of music and the heart connects! A song is a poem in 3D, you could say.

When I sing on a Sunday morning I’m connecting with my creator, I’m connecting with His people – my spiritual family – and together we’re learning, growing and expressing our gratitude for His love in our lives.  Jesus gave us two commands – to love God and to love others.  Singing together is a powerful and effective way to achieve both.  Won’t you join me?

As iron sharpens iron…

Pastor Kelly said the ‘s’ word yesterday… oh my, yes he did… “small groups”.  My heart sank a little when I heard it.  I really thought I was going to get out of it this time, but it looks like God might have other plans.  Honestly, I think I could write the book on how NOT to do small groups.  We’ve been a part of so many and yes, a few of them were okay – maybe even good – but we’ve definitely had our fair share of ones that didn’t go so well either.  The more he talked about it, the more anxious I became.  Thoughts started flying through my head, faces came to mind and at one point the tears almost started to flow… yup – there are still wounds there.  I’ll admit it, I don’t like small groups!

What are small groups, you may ask?  Well, as a church grows, it becomes more difficult for the pastor to offer adequate support and care to every member.  Small groups are clusters of about 6 to 10 families that care for and support one another through joys and struggles; to deal with the day to day issues that the pastor may not have time or energy for.  Ideally, over time, trust is built and the small group becomes sort of a spiritual family.  But I’ve found that small groups are a funny thing… they either work or they don’t.  Period.  Don’t get me wrong.  Small groups serve a great purpose and I definitely see the value in them, when they work.  But like any real family, there are imperfect people involved and sometimes the relationships either don’t click and trust isn’t built, or a group becomes so close and connected that it’s impossible for others to be welcomed in and enfolded.

Most of the groups that I’ve been a part of were made up of a few random families and we were more or less told,  “These are your people.  Make it work!”  More often than not, our group would start by doing Bible studies together, and often I found those groups remained shallow and safe.  It wasn’t a place to air dirty laundry or ask the hard questions… and very little trust was built.  Those who know me, know that when it comes to spiritual discussions I like to think outside the box, to explore the “what if’s?” and the “why not’s?”  I don’t mind getting a little messy – as long as people are real about it and don’t try to hide it or pretend like it’s all okay.  A few times I felt judged and not very loved by members of a particular small group.  Thankfully, we moved away before too much damage was done there.  At one point, in another church, I was hoping to join a group that I thought we’d fit very well into and was told that they didn’t have any room… only to find out a month later that another couple was invited into the group after I had asked about it.  Ouch!

I don’t want to be completely negative though. I’ve heard of huge success stories too.  When it works, it really works!  Relationships click and conversation flows easily; people are genuine, trust is built and support is offered.  I’m sure it’s a wonderful thing.  I’ve always wanted that for our family too.  There have even been times when it seemed like we were getting somewhere… and usually, about that time, either we would move, or someone else in the group would move and it would all fall apart.  We’d have to start over.  Frankly, I’m tired of trying to make it work.

I wonder… is there a way to do small groups where it doesn’t involve so much work and so much pain?  Probably not.  Small groups involve relationships – relationships between imperfect people – so no, they aren’t easy and yes, they involve pain sometimes.  But I can always hope!  I know they can also bring joy and fun and laughter.  They give us a chance to learn and grow and mature.  Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  We need one another – even through the challenging times.  Over the years, I guess I’ve come to learn that it’s the difficult people in our lives who help us grow the most!

Something interesting happened after yesterday’s meeting.  A group of church friends met at Timmy’s for coffee; a group of people who naturally click.  We all may come from different backgrounds and have different thoughts and ideas about life, but I’ll admit, there was spark there – a little glimmer of hope.  Could this be a small group?  Would it actually work this time?  Am I ready to open up and let my heart be vulnerable again?  Maybe… just maybe! 🙂

The Heart of God = Unity!

Life has been a constant state of change this summer.  A lot has been going on at work and at home but without a doubt God’s hand is at the centre of it all!

Last Sunday the pastor of the new church we’re now attending preached a sermon on unity.  It’s something that I’ve been longing to hear from the pulpit for 15 years and that one message healed a multitude of wounds in my heart.  His main point – it’s more important to be unified than it is to be right.  He admited that it wasn’t an easy message to preach – but I know it came straight from the heart of God.

Since I became a Christian almost 20 years ago I’ve always understood that unity was at the centre of God’s heart. The trinity is a unity of three beings.  God wants unity with us and he wants us to have unity with one another.  The Bible speaks of unity often – Psalm 133 – where there is unity, God commands a blessing.  In John 15 – the most important commandment is to love one another.  In Acts 1 the disciples were of one accord or of one mind and the Holy Spirit showed up!  In Philippians 1 and 2Corinthians 13 – oneness was the most important value of the early church.  There’s something to be said of unity!

Yet for far too many years I’ve struggled with and been frustrated by the arguments and petty issues of churches full of people who want to be right – to have the right theology, the right doctrine, the right way of doing things, the right way of thinking.  Heaven forbid that we do or say something wrong!  What then, I ask?  Will God not forgive that too?  Is it not possible for us to trust that God will lead us and guide us if we can simply move forward together, in unity?  He doesn’t want us to fail!  He wants us to move and grow and learn and live and laugh together – and yes, we’ll mess up sometimes – but that’s how we learn.  We’re not perfect – and you know what?  That’s okay!  God can work with imperfect people, if they’re willing.

Last week my heart was healed!  I’ve found a place where I belong.  A place where unity is treasured and grace abounds.  A place where people of all backgrounds and all walks of life are accepted and loved.  A place where it’s okay to come and just be yourself and not have to pretend you have it all together.  It feels just a little bit like home to me.  🙂

A time to be still

I wanted to let you know why things have been so quiet lately.  I have to admit that I haven’t been feeling very inspired at all.  Writer’s block?  Maybe.  But I think it’s more likely a simple matter of brain overload.  You see I’ve started training in another position at work and this position requires a lot of attentiveness and brain power.  When I’m not in that position there are moments when I simply need to mentally ‘check out’ just to give my head a rest.

Unfortunately, as a mom of three kids, there aren’t many moments where I can do this at home either.  So I’ve discovered that my morning quiet time has almost become one of those moments where I just need to sit and be and not have to think.  I know it’s for a season and I pray that God will give me the heart and desire and ability to write more as I adjust to the new tasks required of me.

I would truly appreciate all your prayers as I adjust to taking on these new responsibilities.  I’m not quite sure what the future holds and perhaps that’s where some of the stress is coming from.  There are a few unknowns in my life right now and at times it becomes overwhelming.  I suppose I don’t handle change as well I thought I did.  I do, however, trust that God is in complete control and I lay it all in his hands.  At this point in time, that’s all I can do.

Psalm 46:10  He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

Experiencing emotion

Easter – Day 20

I found both of today’s passages to be very emotional ones.  Psalm 84 speaks of the writer’s soul yearning and crying out for God; and in John 21:15-19 Jesus asks Simon Peter, three times, if he loves him.  Three times he replies, “Lord you know that I love you.”

Our pastor is currently doing a sermon series on emotions and is using the Psalms to highlight various ones.  I’m not completely sure why, but the culture my husband was born into is one that doesn’t show emotion easily.  If you like Star Trek, you could pretty much compare them to Vulcans. (Spock’s race)  If emotions are felt, they’re typically hidden or stuffed down.  I’ve wondered if maybe part of it comes from a sense of pride or perhaps shame.  Showing emotion requires a letting go, and that could be seen as having a lack of self-control or weakness.

But God gave us emotions.  A whole range of emotions – love, joy, anger, sadness – the list goes on.  They have a purpose and they are nothing to be ashamed about.  We all have them and to pretend that we don’t or to not allow ourselves, or those around us, to experience them is only smacking God in the face and saying, “I don’t like the way you made me!”

Yes, emotions can get messy, but they also allow us to go deeper into relationship with others.  If we don’t experience emotion within a relationship, chances are high that things will remain fairly shallow.  We need to open up and go deeper!

Jesus had to ask Simon Peter three times if he loved him.  After the third time, Peter responded with emotion and not just a pat answer.  That’s how Jesus knew he got through to him.  When the heart connects with that the mind is saying there will be an emotional response.  Now whether we allow ourselves to fully experience that or allow it to show in our lives, is up to us, I suppose.

Matthew 22:36-39 – “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’

How closely connected are your heart and mind when it comes to loving Jesus and loving others?  Have you told them lately how you really feel?

…but why?

Easter – Day 18

A while ago I wrote a blog called “Open eyes”.  Well today’s thought is similar to that and the passage, in Luke 24:44-49, is reflective of what I read at that time too.   The disciples are gathered with Jesus following his resurrection and he begins teaching them things from scripture.   It then goes on to say that, “he opened their minds so they could understand…”

In thinking this over I couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t ‘opened their minds’ sooner?  And if God can simply open people’s minds to understand what scripture says, then why doesn’t he do this with everyone?  Why aren’t we all given the same chance to read and understand what the Bible has to say?  It kind of makes you think that in the end it’s really all up to God whether we ‘get it’ or whether we don’t.  He can keep our minds in the shadows or he can make it clear.  It’s up to God whose mind he chooses to open and whose mind remains closed.

This is a big part of reformed theology that I’ve never really understood or necessarily agreed with– the whole idea that God has chosen a select few from the beginning of time and the rest are just left to die or rot in hell.  Really, how could a good and loving God create a planet full of children only to hand some of them over to his worst enemy?  I mean, we as earthly, sinful parents wouldn’t even do that!  We would never give birth to a child only to turn him/her over to the nearest pedophile.  It really just doesn’t make sense.  And yet, when I read passages like this one, it tells me that God can open the minds of whomever he chooses and I suppose if he chose to not open someone’s mind, they’d simply be left in the dark.  But why would he do that?  I don’t understand.  After all, he’s the all-powerful, omnipotent, almighty God!

Perhaps I need to pray to have my mind opened to understanding some of these scriptures.  I’m no scholar and theology is a pretty heavy subject to tackle.  I need God to open my mind to understanding these mysteries, just as he did with the disciples.  I also need wisdom when it comes to applying them to my life and sharing them with others.

I don’t have all the answers and most days I have more questions than answers.  Sometimes I wonder if God gets tired of hearing all my questions – I feel like I’m that little 4 year old who’s discovering the world for the first time and constantly pestering his mom with all the “Why’s?”   It’s frustrating for me at times because my mind likes to have things figured out and in order and God, it seems, likes to keep certain things a mystery.  Maybe there are reasons he doesn’t want us to know it all right now…

…but why? 😉

Keeping it simple

Easter – Day 15

I don’t really have any deep thoughts to share today.  I guess I’m just going to keep it simple.

1 Corinthians 15: 56+57 “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Christ gives us victory!  Victory over what, you might ask?  He gives us victory over the power of sin and death.  Sin and death separates us from God.  The power of sin and death is found in the law.  The law is the rules and regulations laid out in the Old Testament.   Christ gives us victory over these rules and regulations.  Through his death, we are no longer required to keep the law, or any man made rules, in order to gain salvation.   We cannot earn our way into heaven.  We could never be ‘good enough’ on our own.  Faith in Christ is all that’s needed.

With Christ we have victory!  Through Christ we are free!

Rebel heart

Easter – Day 14

The word that jumped out at me today is going to require a bit of brutal honesty to explain.  I realise that I may run the risk of offending some people and possibly hurting feelings, but I believe this is what I’m to share today.

In Psalm 78:8 the writer speaks of a stubborn and rebellious generation.  The word rebellious is what grabbed me.  You see there’s this part of me that is truly struggling with the church we’re now attending and in a sense I feel like I’m being somewhat rebellious about it all.   I feel like I’ve never been able – over the past 3 years – to set down roots there.  I suppose that could come from the fact that we started going to the church with the intent of joining a church plant that was in the works at the time.  That project fell through and now we’re left sitting and waiting while the church itself goes through some other difficult changes.   At this point no one seems to know what the outcome of those changes will be and in the meantime we’re all left in this awkward limbo.

Another frustration comes from the fact that nothing is EVER done quickly there and every little detail has to go through multiple committees in order to be approved.  Each time something gets passed along to another committee it has to wait for the next meeting, which is typically ‘next month’.  So while some progress seems to be happening, the progress happens at a snail’s pace and when I look around at other churches in our area they’re out there doing things, making things happen, saving souls for Christ and having an impact in this city and in the world.  I don’t see why we can’t be doing that too??!

The world that we live in runs at a fast pace and if we’re slow, they’re not even going to bother taking a second glance at us; they’ll move right along to the next best thing.  We need to meet people where they’re at, not try to force them to be like us.  It won’t work!  Then again, if your main goal is to simply take care of those within your walls and not bother with the bigger picture, then I suppose you can take as long as you like.

There are other reasons why I don’t feel at home there and I really don’t want this to be some huge complaint session – although I have a sneaky feeling that it’s already become that.  Complaining doesn’t get me anywhere and I’m fully aware of that.  A larger struggle lies in knowing what to do about it all – how do I figure this all out without coming across as a huge rebel?  I’ve tried joining a committee to try to help out, but I’m finding that to be more of a frustration than anything as I’m simply caught up in the details of it all, realising just how long some of these things are going to take.  Ugh!

So, am I being a rebel?  Maybe in some little ways I am, but as I read on in that verse, I realise that the psalmist was talking about rebellion against God, not against man.   Even Jesus rebelled against the church of his day becuase they weren’t being effective and weren’t doing what they should have been doing.

Honestly, I feel like my heart is closer to God now than it has been in years.  My heart is loyal to him; my spirit is faithful to him.  My rebellion is definitely directed at man, not God.  No matter what happens with the church, I will always remain true to God.  I may be frustrated and angry and hurt by man, but I do know that God loves me and will help me through this.